To Not Be Discovered
As the need to be on social media grows, the need for that attention and validation forever in front of me, it might be time to admit that I may never be seen.
Let's face it: there are billions of people in this world, billions using social media, millions upon millions of accounts and blogs A lot of times, what's the point of even posting anything in the first place when there's a 99% chance someone is going to post the exact same thing you'll post in a matter of seconds?
I realize now that I may never be discovered, that there's a good chance no one will see this; alternatively, if someone were to see this, they'll just brush it off and think I'm just some random schizo with mental problems. I really don't know why I bother posting when I know no one is going to see it. I know that my social anxiety makes things a lot worse, but it seems like everyone has social anxiety, but it's those lucky few accounts that get the attention; the likes, reposts, and comments.
Perhaps it's just all a battle for attention, to see who can be remembered before it's all too late. I'm just one being amongst billions. Who's going to care about one insignificant being?
I wish I could just be happy alone, but I also wish I could be seen and heard, like in the movie "Nimona," where she turns into that giant monster, and the guy goes "I see you... I hear you." Just thinking about it makes me want to cry, knowing that it may never happen. Even if I disappear or post a suicide note, it'll be disregarded.
Maybe that's why I relate so much to being a ghost. People have called me a ghost before. I suppose that's fitting. What a shame.